Shell's Quarterly Profits: What the Hell is Going On?

The Robots Are Coming, and They're Bringing Shell Casings?

So, I'm supposed to write about why some website is asking if I'm a robot? Give me a break. That's the lede? Are we scraping the bottom of the barrel today, or what? (Are you a robot?)

But then, I see this other headline: "Roseville Community Schools district says multiple shell casings found at 2 schools." Shell casings? In schools? What in the actual hell is going on? And then they say it's connected to "online activity encouraging students with access to bullets to 'drop them in school' to prompt the exact type of response we had today."

Okay, so we've gone from "are you a robot?" to "kids are being encouraged to bring bullets to school as some kind of sick joke." Is this the future? 'Cause if it is, I want off.

Ghost in the Machine, Bullets in the Hallway

It gets weirder. "Ghost in the Shell" is 30 years old, apparently. Thirty years! And it predicted cybersecurity? Let's be real, predicting cybersecurity ain't exactly rocket science. Anyone who's ever gotten a Nigerian prince email could've seen this coming. But the article says it was prescient about government-backed hackers and tech-enabled domestic abuse. I guess that's... something.

But, wait a minute. Shell casings in schools, online challenges, and prescient anime about hacking? Is there some kind of connection here? Am I supposed to believe that some bored scriptwriter in the 90s somehow foresaw TikTok challenges involving live ammunition? Or is this just the natural progression of a society that's addicted to screens and completely divorced from reality?

And then there's this: "Canton police investigate banquet hall shootout; find at least 75 shell casings." Seventy-five! At a banquet hall? After a funeral, no less. What kind of country are we living in where you can't even bury someone in peace without getting caught in the crossfire? (Canton police investigate banquet hall shootout; find at least 75 shell casings)

Offcourse, the cops got zero cooperation. Why would they? Snitches get stitches, as they say. And in Canton, Ohio, apparently, they also get shell casings raining down on their heads.

Big Oil's Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Oh, and let's not forget the oil companies raking in billions. Shell, BP, ExxonMobil—they're all swimming in cash while the planet burns. $27 billion in quarterly profits? Give me a freaking break.

Wael Sawan, Shell’s CEO, says they "delivered another strong set of results." Yeah, strong results for them, not for the rest of us who are going to be dealing with the consequences of their greed for generations to come. He says it enables them to commence another $3.5 billion of buybacks. Buybacks? Seriously? How about using that money to, oh I don't know, clean up some of the mess you've made?

Then again, what do I expect? They're oil companies. Their business model is literally based on extracting resources and externalizing the costs onto everyone else. It's like a parasite that's slowly killing its host.

Maybe that's the real connection here. The robots, the bullets, the oil—it's all part of the same system. A system that values profit over people, technology over humanity, and short-term gains over long-term sustainability.

Are We Doomed?

Look, I don't know. Maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe I'm reading too much into things. But when I see shell casings in schools, oil companies posting record profits, and websites asking me if I'm a robot, it's hard not to feel like we're heading down a dark path. And honestly, I don't see a way out.

We're Screwed, Ain't We?